The Role of Sex Therapy In Healing From Sexual Trauma
Content warning: This page contains information about sexual violence and may be triggering if you have recently experienced sexual assault of any kind.
Healing after sexual assault is an intensely personal and courageous journey. For many, the path to recovery involves not only addressing the emotional wounds, but also reconnecting with their body and discovering pleasure in ways that feel safe, empowering, and pleasurable. If you’ve experienced sexual trauma, whether in childhood or as an adult, know this: you are not alone, and there is no timeline or right way to heal.
This blog post isn’t about rushing or pushing yourself–it’s about offering gentle guidance, hope, and validation as you take steps toward reclaiming what was always yours: the ability to feel safe, pleasure, connection, and intimacy within your body and romantic partnership (if you are in one). Whether you’re beginning to explore this part of your healing or have been on this journey for a while, I hope this space feels like a safe space to start.
How sex therapy supports trauma recovery
Sex therapy can be a vital part of healing from sexual trauma, offering a safe, supportive space to rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection. It helps individuals regain control over their bodies, address emotional challenges like shame or anxiety, and re-establish a positive relationship with their sexuality. For couples, sex therapy fosters open communication, improves trust, and deepens intimacy.
It also supports individuals in reconnecting with their bodies, gradually overcoming fear or discomfort, and embracing pleasure. Most importantly, sex therapy emphasizes that healing is unique for everyone, providing a compassionate and non-judgmental environment where individuals can grow, learn, and reclaim a sense of empowerment.
Understanding the impact of sexual trauma on pleasure and intimacy
Sexual trauma can profoundly affect one’s relationship with pleasure and physical intimacy, often in ways that feel confusing or overwhelming. Sexual trauma involves such a personal and vulnerable part of who we are, it can create lasting ripples in how we experience our bodies, emotions, and connections with others.
For many survivors, physical intimacy can feel complicated. Touch that once brought comfort, joy, or pleasure may now trigger feelings of fear, discomfort, or even numbness. The body, in its effort to protect itself, might react with pain, tension, or even dissociation, making pleasure seem out of reach. Some may notice a loss of interest in sex altogether, while others might become hypersexual and seek it out frequently in ways that they feel disconnected or unsafe.
Pleasure, too, can feel like a challenging concept. It’s not uncommon for survivors to struggle with their feelings of shame or guilt around enjoying pleasure within their bodies again, especially when the trauma made them feel powerless or violated. There might also be a fear of letting go–of surrendering to pleasure–because it can feel too vulnerable or unsafe.
These responses are not signs of failure; they are the body and mind’s way of protecting and keeping you safe after experiencing harm. But here’s the hopeful part: with time, healing, and the proper support, you can rebuild a sense of safety, trust, and pleasure in your body. Pleasure can be reclaimed–not as something that defines your worth, but as something that is yours to explore on your terms, in your own time.
Reconnection with your body: A gentle approach
After experiencing sexual trauma, feeling at home in your own body can be incredibly challenging. Sexual trauma often disrupts the sense of safety and connection we have within ourselves, making it hard to trust or fully inhabit our physical selves. But know this: your body is not broken, and healing is possible. Rebuilding the connection with sexual desire, arousal, and pleasure takes time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion, but it can also be a deeply empowering journey. Here are some gentle ways to begin reconnecting with your body:
Practice Mindful Awareness
Healing begins with simply noticing your body in non-judgmental ways. This might look like:
Create a quiet, safe space where you will not be interrupted.
Begin by paying attention to your breath as it moves in and out. Take six deep diaphragmatic breaths before moving on to the next step.
Feel the ground beneath your feet or the texture of your clothing.
Place one hand over your heart and the other on your stomach, and notice the warmth of your touch.
Notice where you are carrying tension throughout your body. Breathe into those areas and just notice them.
Ask yourself what emotions you are experiencing right now, and where do you feel them in your body?
What would they want me to know or understand if my emotions could speak?
What would it feel like to show me kindness when difficult emotions arise?
Journal your responses to the previous three questions.
These small acts remind your body that it’s okay to feel again and be in your body, one moment at a time.
Move In Ways That Feel Good
Movement can help you reconnect with your body, but it doesn’t need to be strenuous or intimidating. Try gentle practices like:
Stretching in bed or on the floor.
Take a walk and notice the rhythm of your steps.
Exploring yoga or dance in a way that feels safe and empowering
The goal is not performance but simply exploring how it feels to inhabit your body. Find some non-sexual ways that you enjoy connecting with your body.
Practice Non-sexual, Comforting Touch
If touch feels difficult, start with non-sexual and nurturing forms of contact. You might:
Wrap yourself in a soft blanket.
Use lotion or oil to gently massage your hands, arms, or feet. Experiment with different types of touch and pressure. Start by doing this yourself before inviting your partner (if you are in a relationship).
Hold or hug a comforting object, like a pillow, stuffed animal, or a pet.
These small acts can help rebuild trust with your body and remind you that touch can be safe, soothing, and pleasurable.
Create Rituals of Care
Acts of self-care can become rituals for reconnecting with your body. Try:
Take a warm bath and focus on how the water feels on your skin.
Mindfully eating something you enjoy, savoring the textures and the flavors.
Use scents you love, like candles or essential oils, to create a calming environment.
These practices invite you to experience pleasure and grounding safely and intentionally. These practices can also help you tap into your sensuality, which is linked to your sexuality.
Setting boundaries and finding safety in intimacy
Rebuilding a connection with your body means learning to honor its signals. If something feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to pause or say no. Mutual safety, consent, and respect are essential for a positive sexual experience. Sex therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these aspects, in-person or online, helping you discover your boundaries. Healing happens when you permit yourself to go at your own pace.
Seek support when you are ready
You don’t have to navigate sexual trauma by yourself. A sex therapist or a support group can provide guidance and encouragement as you rebuild your relationship with your body. Remember, reconnecting with your body isn’t about reaching a specific destination–it’s about creating a relationship of trust, care, and love with yourself. Your body is yours; you deserve to feel safe and home again. Take your time. You are worth it.
Get Started with sex therapy in Scottsdale, Arizona
As you take steps toward healing, remember that you are not alone and healing is possible. You are entitled to all the pleasure your body can experience. At The Connection Couch, we are qualified to support you every step of the way. Follow these steps to start your journey toward reclaiming safety, pleasure, and connection within your body:
Arrange your first sex therapy appointment and get started
Discover how sex therapy can help you heal from sexual trauma at your own pace.
Comprehensive Therapy Services Offered in Scottsdale, AZ
As a sex therapist located in Paradise Valley, I am qualified to provide therapy for individuals and couples looking to improve their intimacy. Additionally, I help couples heal from betrayal and infidelity, as well as support those recovering from sexual trauma.
Evidence-Based Sources Compiled by a Sex Therapist:
Haines, S. (2007). Healing sex: A mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma. Cleis Press.
Maltz, W. (2012). The sexual healing journey: A guide for survivors of sexual abuse 3rd ed. William Marrow Paperbacks.
Richmond, H. (2021). Reclaiming pleasure: A sex-positive guide for moving beyond trauma and living a passionate life. New Harbinger Publications.
Expert Resources From a Sex Therapist:
Arizona Attorney General’s Office of Victim Services:
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-4673